satu peleburan hati

tatkala berasa sangat sedih, sedih dan sedih

AND NO ONE CARE

Spesis gini

Asal sedih je update blog

But people have no idea how i feel right now

Sambung malam la....

spm time sadness

*background lagu saranghamnida*

Dear bloglings,

phew rasanya sangat lama aku tinggalkan blog ni omo recently time nak spm ni la en aku broken heart ceh pastu layan kdrama and lagi menyumbang kepada lara di hati.

Apa ni? Tak patut ah. Cengeng wawa will always be forever cengeng teringat masa zaman jahiliah dulu EMOSI lololol

1 days to go nyah spm T.T dah la tengah frustrated, rasanya aku rasa sangat lost like nobody hold me i cried my eyeballs out every single night wtf bij dah la nak spm, ok tekanan jiwa. Everything mess up, aku doa jela. This is not the first time aku sedih macam ni n im not that type tell people the real story of my sadness except if hati ni bergelora, bahkan lebih bergelora daripada air yg mendidih ceh tengah prepared for karangan bm rabu ni eeeei


InsyaAllah aku cemerlang gemilang dan terbilang. Arghhhhh kembalikan zaman kegemilangan pmr dulu.

I HEART YOU, 5 AMANAH 

To my namja, my yobo,

bogo shipeoso even though i met him jst now depan mata tau padahal. idk how to say how i was so happy aaaaaaa HAPPY 20TH MONTHS :') rasanya tadi aku macam wreck, i gets hurts whenever he walk away... maybe i miss too much, we aint like before anymore i guess n terasa. biar lah

the really one last photo we hd together

Well i'll always pray the best for him, for his future even maybe without me

see, emo lagi haih

kedewasaan ini

Hi mammals,

Yay! August test ended. Weeeee~ tak tergambarnya perasaan, 3 hari tu macam penyeksaan lol. Baru monthly test. Diam lah Waa .___. jiwa kental. Redha. Tawakkal. Result entah lah.... Bukan takde confident. Tapi insyaAllah lagi sekali addmaths je fail 3x berturut turut. Yang lain pass dengan tidak semegahnya! Amin

Ermmm kalau nak update rasa macam dah berpuluh ribu je post benda sama. So, i left some words; Congrats DLWC! You're the hero. The only medal Malaysia got on #Olympic2012 blurpp~ Me, a Malaysian proud of you. All of us. Dont cry superhero...☆

Oh damn man, dulu LCW ni aku punya childhood crush. Nak kahwin dengan dia lerh konon LOLS! Peah mengingatkan nostalgia siaaaaaa. Ok that was typical kids k. Hm......lagi apa lagi eh? Ermmmm harini dah 8th Aug so tmr is going to be the 10th last day of Ramadhan. Really cant believe how time fly so fast. Tahun ni disebabkan aku dah macam ada lah jugak masuk tazkirah dalam otak ni en, what if......if i try to seek for the malam seribu bulan! Dah lama dah.....kepengen dong :( ustazah kata, kena jaga malam. Kuatkah hamba-Mu ini ya Allah? Berdoa......

Itu perkara biasa. Tapi nak cari solat solat sunat tu en. Ermmmm....nak cari pengalaman. Tapi kalau mata dihimpap batu, tidur jelah. Ustazah kata, doa banyak banyak. Ok ustazah! Aip aip captain~

Who cares if aku tengah sedih sekarang. Ok yang ni takyah baca ah. Menyampah ah. Nak post pun segan segan malu je. Bulan puasa ni amal ibadat jelah. Ceh tapi kat Twitter tu dah pack dengan tweet emo cinta hambar. Suka hati ah. I hate this feelings :( Meradang jiwaku oh sib baik bitches 4 Amanah safe me. Oh my joker....

whore much

All i can say is, they cheer me up. Really. Thank you friends, classmates, brothers and bitches....... 

Seriously macam what the fuck why i keep being emotion? Hm people dont know and dont need to know and just act like you dont know or you really dont know. Macam mindblow tak? K tak jadi. Bye

Salam Ramadhan everyone.

P/S:

DAMN FUCKING HURTFUL NOWADAYS

Sups!

Its have been a while I didnt post something that I really really want to share sincerely from the bottom of my heart. Aww and i rear to visit Bloggers almost that long since i wasnt here. Ppl glad that now i had such happy ever after life. Weh, does this takes place forever? I hope so. Since when i ever starts to get scared to let lil worth thing in my life? Penakut~ god, since when? I should be strong. Pray is the best weapon. Im still not done

Its not really good to hate people. Whats the point? Its deal for those ppl whom thought Im annoyed them. Hey, you annoyed me too. Think. Ppl shall be smarter than this. Haha Im sorry ppl. So sorry

My mid term result wasnt that good. I just had 4 subjects which i passed my 60 and above target. 4 more below 60 and 1 G. Its addmaths again. I got no A's. Highest, B+ I should stop saying "parents should understand. It isnt that easy" because i think i should blame myself. I've changed. I had been so emotional lately mostly on midnight. I overthink till i feel sad. Stupid me

After all, I am still fine. I still have better life. Such awesome journey

Live a life

Hi.

I feel a bit depressed when it comes to April. Why i am so sensitive recently? Oh fuck that shit. School was okay. Friends too. Aniq also. Family always. But, yeaaaa idk whats wrong with myself. As i sit alone in my bed and think, think and think.....oh yeah, its about my study. Those subjects are getting tougher. With this freeze brain and bloody lazy me, how can i success?

Waa, think. Your spm is just next year. It is the guarantee of your future. Your ambition. Hm i know~ i know~ I must work harder. Struggle all out. Guys, im trying okay! Im not just crossing my fingers and goyang kaki. Hell no lah. I keep wondering, am i such un -grateful? Ya Allah, pls forgive me for all what i've done :( Im heedless.

I lie for a reason. Im sorry. Haaaaa i pray my life would getting better. Sure can. If i be good as  i was   fifteen. Im not blaming anyone but so praise for those who change my life even a bit. You know who you are♥ For all people that i know and know me and close with me xx

Imbalanced

Well, for this break i have no plan at all. Where to go?  To hang? To chill? To date? Oh this, YES! hahaha i dont  know what to spent my time with. Absolutely homeworks is compulsory and revision and tuition and zzzzzz

Weh, Im stress out. Really get pissed off. Something wrong. Tears burst out. Huh fortunately sayang always be there and his text cheer me up. Haih no one know abt this. I dont want ppl to know this too cause nobody could fix this. That somehow i feel like wanna isolate myself. Feel so down and  like a shit andblablabla~ Hey, why am i saying this? This is not things! Not my thang either. Im tough, man. I could handle this. Peace ^______^v Moreover, i hate it if i catch myself get dumb by stupid things. Huh. The way to let this, i curse. Curse a lot. BABI! Lalala~

I'm into this

Hi,

Long time no update inconjuction with my March test. The result was A,B,C,G! Uh one failed and its addmaths and it doesnt matter. It just a test. I'll beat mid term! I 'll work harder! Im saying this seriously with lazy sound. lol am i look nonchalant? lalala~ but serious lah i want changing. C'mon~ muka ni boleh percaya ah

Btw, im severe lovesick with bloody Aniq. Guys, can i repeat this hundred times? I'M IN LOVE. WE'RE IN LOVE. LOVES KEEP SPREADING. I wish this could stay. Pls. Haa no need to story lah the day we date. Cycling. Ice cream. Raining. Ceh x) Jia and Myo were the witnesses. I never expect we would go this far. Its six kilometer alr! Hahahahahaha even we seems like stranger in school, but huh ppl dont know lah whats happening outside the line. Eh, i mean outside the school. Hihihi woi he's great. He's different. Am i mean he's the last? Oh, i wish so. Lemme be his first and last.


I love you :-* we could make this to un-countable kilometer eh sayang? :)

Leap Day

First post for the date of 29th February.

Happy birthday, Muhd Azamuddin Roslan and thanks for the midnight call on yesterday night. I'm the first person to call huh? Ok, terharu x)

Broken with Patrick. idk. Dont ask. I need the truth. Thats it

4 Amanah is the sweetest okay. Dah lah sepah kan rak buku teks science stream. Then kena jemur tengah panas sebab tiga perempuan gengster merujuk kepada myself, Myo and Jia. K perasan kiteorang ngorat dia lettew XP Sorry gais. Kita sweet ok. Kita sweet. Lupa ke? Myo and Jia keep saying that they are troublemaker. lol emosial

And i eat a lot of candies in the class. Tension mungkin. With my own hard feelings. But i know i can be tough coz there's dolls who will always be with me. And calculation makes me forget my problem. Seriously cool. Kbye enjoy ur leap day gais :*

Talking to myself

Hye, tak mandi lagi. Ugh kesah?

My life would become better better and better now. Umm, perhaps there's......K, cut! Btw, i miss my old me. Fifteen me. With no man to hold on. Move on, growing as totally completely single lady, girl teen. Im not that lonely actually *tipu sikit* Friends keep comfort me. Teachers also. And books. harharhar I got no man to think about. The brokenheart really teach me how to survive. Y'know, without man you still can stay alive, girls. Allah alr wrote something that you couldnt read w your naked eyes. Be patient. Life such a journey -flashback

*Now on* Somehow I feel scared to face 16. The fear that I always think, will I be that 14 bad again? I dont want to :( And somehow I thought that I have to abandon love. Im such this young still! Oh no, humans need love however bad the situation is. Really? Hmmm but this stupid me still got friends, parents to charge the loves. The man would give me someday. Whenever my mindset ask me to leave him, the heart will never authorize that. But, friends had told me that if we did wrong decision, doesnt mean we would lose the right man. Yeah, I note that

Does love really would ruins you? Hm idk. Fortunately Im not that lost. That boy, I miss him but everytime I text him, blank. No idea. But, I really want him to know I really miss him :( I cant tell him. I cant to. Sorry. Dont ask me why. I love him too but still, I cant confess. Why macam mayat hidup yang tak berdaya nak buat apa-apa? Ugh thats me. Seriously. I wont repeat worth words for hundred times. Gila memendam. harharhar dah biasa, dah pro dah. hihihi I wish you know that I love you but not so sure whether this is temporary or forever. I think you remember my words "nothing last forever huh" :-) Aaaaaaaand, how come I'm in love w someone that I really hate before and hurt me like oh bila difikirkan balik I would be so cold w him suddenly. Again, REALLY HATE BEFORE :( Tell me

My heart gets tired. Tears could not comes out anymore. Unless, if it does really hurt me inside. Ni cinta monyet je kan? K, just note this, someday you'll find me as a doctor or a pilot and a wife fr my endless husband and a good mom of my child. Bye

15 years old girl

Hm

Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku terlalu kecil untuk fikir about Prince Charming. It's too far untuk menggapai "dia" Ceeeh.

But, somehow Im still bersyukur cause Allah letakkan aku kat situasi sekarang. Yeah, 15 years old girl yang masih perlu belajar tentang hidupnya demi masa hadapan. Past and mistakes, learn from them.

Tak salahkan nak berangan? To achieve something we need patient, try hard, do'a and tawakal. I hope so badly my angan-angan would become true. Aminnn.

A scar

I think this life is no need to be too sentimental BUT I am. I admit, lately I feel a bit offended with my surrounding. I don't know whats the point. It just, hmmmmmmm I feel.

I always keep thinking, if now I have a boyfriend, I would tell him everything. What I feel. I'll cry as loud as I may on his shoulder and I keep nagging till he tell me to stop. I barely think people surrounding were neglecting me. And I was like beggar who showed my love for them, but they disregard it. How hurt would you be if you are in the same boots. Tell me. How hurt? Should you obey with this feelings rhytm or just move on?

Somehow I am afraid. Afraid if I would lose my crush. I had once lose my beloved. Senang cerita aku dengan dia macam bestfriends cause he didnt know my feeling. I decided to not tellin' him. Besides, he still in love with his ex. And Im too sure his ex does too. Obviously, I am become damn suck jealous.

And night, tears will come out. Without any sense. I am loner. Such 1years pass by. I am still loner. Kadang-kadang bila terlampau sedih I lost. Nak luahkan dekat someone. But, I don't know who. Perhaps the best one is Allah. I am not sure when this sorrow would end up.

MANUSIA

Ustazah : Dalam Islam, orang yang penyabar itu adalah orang yang kuat. Darjatnya diangkat oleh Allah SWT

&

DIA menguji sesiapa yang dikehendakinya dan ingat lah kamu bahawa Allah tak akan menguji hambanya melebihi kemampuan diri mereka.

Memohonlah kepada Allah jika kamu dalam kesusahan. Aminnnnn :/

aku taklah rumit sangat

Orang alim ; Kamu solat cukup 5 waktu ?

Wawa ; Tak

*muke dia berubah Okay, dari situ aku dapat tahu pandangan dia untuk aku. Budak neh teruk betul. Dah besar sembahyang pun tak tentu hala. Tak diajar atau malas nak belajar ?

Orang tua (1) ; Kau neh dah besar pun lembab. Buat kerje senang pun tak boleh

Wawa ; Apa yang tak betul nye ?

Orang tua (2) ; Kau neh kenape 1 ? Dia kan budak lagi. Slow-2 lah dia belajar. Kau dah senior ajar lah dia

Wawa ; *sengih sinis

Situation neh nampak macam orang tua (2) back up aku. Mungkin. At least hati aku puas sebab motherfucker tuh kene. HAHAHA !

Bayi comel ; Kakak, nak milk

Wawa ; Ahh ! Aku nak tidur lah ! Suruh lah Miss buat ! Herghhhh !

Miss ; Kau neh kenape ? Tadi kau nak sangat bela budak tuh pergilah buat

Wawa ; Nak buat susu apa nye, orang bukan bibik. Takde lesen nak jadik mak budak lagi *buat muke taik

Miss ; Weh ! Panaskan air dulu baru buat. Takkan nak buat susu guna air sejuk. Bodoh

*Gua buat terpakse luu tahu. Anjeng Actually mak bayi comel neh keluar so aku terpakse jadik babysitter dia. Err