18 // MALAYSIAN // Space to nag

Saturday, December 14, 2013

read and weep

Pepagi dengar Exo rasa awkward krik

Again idk where to start. But i knw this is going to be bad when i cant sleep at night and text my friends like what should i do? well things come unexpected. I have been not feeling this sad for so long since idk when but this is the worst sepanjang im 17.

And i sit on my bed, staring at the wall. Who is going to be blame on this matter? Taking the box and the diary, sit again, looking at those pictures in the box, laptop, phone, read and weep lol how i wish i can just go back to the old times, im not going to regret ok bitch :( nasib la this happen after spm, if tak haih memang takleh fikir time spm. Why dont sometimes people cant think on other people sensitivity? For now this is going the worst birthday ever, ever since i couldnt sleep. And i cry myself till fall asleep. Serious la aku menyampah haih and my night sleep when i put the box besides me when im going to sleep, listen to "our song" and hug my bantal busuk where mentally emotional i think its him almost every night haha :( its actually jst a cheat la said that i hate, i mad cz how can u hate and stay mad and the person who makes u feeling happy more than anything? the person that u've shared story of you life and sigh with. im just....bila difikirkan balik his word, makan dalam doh. how dare :( tak kena masa wei

this is so unexpected guys. how can a guy that i frequent peek when at school dulu, a guy that make me talk to myself "wei its freaking real there will be no another guy after ths" hurts me this worst :( hes my best. rasanya kalau aku ada duit now im going to bring myself abroad and disappear eceh emo like last night i went to celebrate my birthday with my friends, wore the cardi that once i wore when i was going out to celebrate my birthday with him a year ago and theres kinda feeling that i told myself, hes with you ecewah :'( betul la kan frankly he made the best birthday ever for me last year, how i miss him that much :( and when im with my friends, they helped me to kill the pain but when i went home its actually the pain is still there, with me

and idk will this stupid matter will be the causes for us to apart. but my friend said he dont deserve to be at my best if he cant accept my flaws.

Ibu ayah, im sorry for crying hard on my birthday :( well i jst dont want they to get worried on me anymore. last night i asked ayah bila nak g vacay to forget about this pain asshole tapi ayah said tunggu adik aku yang sorang tercicir kat kampung balik dulu haih

love hurts me this much guys :( berapa lama la im not being ths freaking sad. and takkan la because of this we are going to be apart :( but who knows, perhaps Allah plan the best in future. ths is really hard guys. i love him this much but for now its just too hard for me to talk to him, like last night dah la mimpi aku reply his text. ingatkan betul, bila bangun i knw it just a dream

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